Tubes & Adenoid Removal

Just a quick post to update y'all on Jackson before we head North. Our appointment went wonderfully with the ENT this morning. I really loved her, and so did Jackson...or maybe not her, but her toy collection;)

I did not realize this, but Jackson has had over 6 ear infections within the past 11 months. Holy cow!!! 4 of those infections have been in the last 6 months. The antibiotics have done their job in killing the bacteria.  However, the fluid has not drained from the infections, and is quite built up.

So, basically Jackson can hear us but we're very muffled. The fluid doesn't cause Jackson pain, but pressure. She related the feeling to flying and not being able to "pop" your eardrums. Um no wonder Jackson isn't a great sleeper and frequently wakes up pissed at the world. Laying down makes the pressure worse.

The doctor wants to put in tubes and remove Jackson's adenoids as well. She described the process of removing the adenoids as more of a scraping. This will helps with his ever running nose and allergies. Decreasing fluid build up and infection.

Now I'm just waiting for the surgery scheduler to call me with our options for dates. We're looking at having everything done before Christmas!

I can't thank you enough for all of your emails, comments and messages about tubes. I know this is the best option for Jackson and I'm looking forward to him being back to "normal" and feeling well!!!

Keep the prayers coming though:)

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perspective & plans

I went to bed last night weeping from the confirmation that our rock star nanny would be leaving us at the end of the year. And I woke up this morning to an email message that said our potential home buyers had put an offer on another home.

Lovely, right?!? But, I am determined to not let this news bring me down. I have to keep things in perspective and have faith that everything happens for a reason.

Jackson is so incredibly lucky to have had Fee for the time that we did. He loves her, and she loves him. She plays with him, she really plays. She sings to him, she sings all of the nursery songs that I should know, but don't because I never took the time away from my job to look up the words. She makes me feel okay with being a working momma because I know that she's giving him more than I could. And this too, makes me weep.

I'm relieved that we didn't get an offer on our house. Everything happens for a reason, and I think God knew that looking for childcare on top of a new house is too much for me right now.

We have some big decisions to make. Some decisions that are going to force me to lose control and not be selfish. Half of me has kept Jackson at home with a nanny for completely selfish reasons. I'm sure that's somewhat obvious. Packing bags, drop-off lines, 5:30 pick-up deadlines in the extreme heat or pouring down rains, sleep mats, and sick bugs just don't sound appealing to our situation. Not to mention, I have strong feelings about Jackson being able to sleep in his own bed and play outside, when he wants!

But, the time as come. Jackson needs social interaction in an educational environment. He's ready, so I have to make myself ready as well. I mean, I cannot be that mom sobbing as I drive my kid to grade school in the rain. We all do it, and it's my turn.

I'm making lists, scheduling appointments and doing my homework. So my questions for you - would you do an in-home childcare or a daycare center? What are your experiences? What should I be looking for??? Am I nuts? Should I look for another nanny and think about daycare when Jackson is 2???

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Losing control

It's no secret that I'm a complete and total control freak. I have to be in control to make my life work. I hate a surprise and not knowing what the day holds for me.

Thankfully, Mr. allows tolerates this behavior.

When I'm not in control I feel like everything is spinning and I panic. In the past 24 hours I have lost control, and it's not pretty. I had a little melt down last night and prayed for the ability to accept whatever God has planned for us.

Jackson still has fluid in his ears and now Strep throat. He is on a third round of antibiotics and we're waiting for the first available appointment with an ENT. I want my child to be well more than life itself. I hate that I cannot heal him. I don't understand how my child who stays home has turned into such a sick baby in the past month.

Our amazing, loving, trustworthy, rock star nanny may have to leave us at the end of the year. I cannot begin to tell you how sick this makes me feel. Jackson loves her as much as he loves us. She is truly an extension of our family. I believe that she was brought into our lives for a reason and I don't want her to go. I don't have the energy or want to start another nanny search. And I'm not ready to put my sick baby into daycare when his immune system is so run down.

As I type, potential buyers are taking one last look at our home. I'm not 100% sure that they will put an offer on our house, but the stream of emotions surrounding this is nerve racking.

Before the year's end we could theoretically have to: go through surgery with Jackson for tubes, find another nanny or a daycare, and either find a new house or decide to build.

It's no wonder that I don't sleep at night, or that my mind never stops racing, and that I'm losing weight from stress. I'm playing phone tag with my doctor to get my blood results. Her voice mail said that everything looked okay, but that she wanted to review everything with me.

So Dr. Momma Wilson prescribed a family date night at an ice cream parlor last night. Yes, we had ice cream {technically it was frozen yogurt} for dinner. I did make sure that Jackson had fruit with his:)

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

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Wordless Wednesday - Gobble Gobble

Well y'all it's almost Turkey day, where has the month gone?!? While I feel more blessed then ever, I am praying that we are all healthy by next week.  Poor Jackson just can't catch a break lately.  This is the third day in a row that I'll be sitting in a waiting room.  Monday and Tuesday were for me and today is for my sweet boy. 

I hope to have some answer and test results today, and I'll be sure to share!

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17 months!

My dear Jackson is 17 months old. I'm not sure how this is even possible being that he was just born months ago...I know, I know, time is just flying by. Soon I'll no longer be able to refer to my child's age in months. He's about to be a 1.5 year old, and then gasp, a 2 year old! At least we'll be sailing the seas in the Caribbean for his 2nd birthday, so I won't be as depressed:)

At 17 months Jackson is super smart and very stubborn, I think he must get that from his daddy. Jackson LOVES Elmo, and dinosaurs, and trucks. He loves to push things along, his cars, his train, his Momma, and my parent's dog Aubie.

Jackson's "tricks" include waving hello and good-bye. He blows kisses and loves to give knuckles. He signs for more and up. He loves to brush his hair and teeth. Jackson can also point to his nose, eyes, and belly button. When he's ready for his bath, he lets you know by going and standing at the tub until you start the water. Jackson may be a bad sleeper when he doesn't feel well, but the kid loves his bed and his blanket.

Jackson has also turning into a climber. He climbs the couch. The bar stools. The kitchen cabinets, seriously, I may have to remove the handles from my cabinets. He has NO fear.

Jackson goes to bed around 7 and sleeps until 7, nurses, and goes back to sleep until after 8. He still takes a good afternoon nap, and wakes up recharged and ready to go:)

I'm still nursing Jackson in the morning and before bed. He has had a few sips of cow's milk, but he wasn't a fan. I can't say that I blame him though. I haven't had a sip of milk since the first day of school in the 8th grade. {I got food poisoning from spoiled milk and I just can't make myself drink it. I have a hard enough time just buying it for the Mr.}

Jackson doesn't say too much, but I'm hoping to have some answers as to why soon. He talks much more for Fee, our nanny, then he will for me. Words that we can sometimes get him to say are: hot, tiger, roar, ball, thank you, hi, da-da, ma, nana, ruff, truck.

He's still wearing size 5 diapers and 18-24 month clothes. His extra wide size 6 shoes also still fit, but he'll probably be ready for a bigger size just in time for Christmas. Speaking of Christmas, I cannot wait to play Santa this year. Jackson was too young to know what was going on last year. So this year is going to be awesome!

Jackson - 17 months - 28lbs. - 32" tall -

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