Maybe it's just the calm before the storm...

Hello, is anyone still out there?!?

I know, I'm quiet.

I have yet to blog about our amazing trip to Disney or Jackson's big boy room, that was so last year.

There was no year-end recap

or reflection.

I'm quiet.

I'm processing.

I'm just trying to make sense of things.

Everything happens for a reason, this I am sure of.

It's trying to understand, make sense of, or discover the "why" of everything that I'm processing.

That's making me feel oh so quiet.

We've spent the entire month of January thus far, sick.

One morning I woke up nauseous and late and prayed that this was it... Only minutes later I realized that I was sick as shit, and not with morning sickness.  It was the stomach flu - and now a sinus infection and bronchitis.

We're taking Jackson back to the specialist in New Orleans tomorrow to discuss possible options to get him off antibiotics and out of the urgent care every other week.

I've peed on more sticks this month than I will share with you.

They all turn negative faster than I can put them on the counter.

I'm ready to loose my mind.

I'm ready to move forward.

Ready for the next step.

Ready to embrace our "infertility" title yet again.

I pray that you'll stick with us and be just as amazing and supportive as I become vulnerable and put it all out there yet again in our journey to grow our family.

Because looking into these eyes, and having his smile light up my life - I know that we cannot have just one of these precious gifts.  I know now more than anything, I need to give him the greatest gift of a sibling.

I know that we need to grow.

And the overcoming feeling of this finally being right for us has kicked in and I will do whatever it takes.

So bring it on cycle day 1.

No, really let's get this show started.

I am ready.