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Maybe it's just the calm before the storm...

>> Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Hello, is anyone still out there?!?

I know, I'm quiet.

I have yet to blog about our amazing trip to Disney or Jackson's big boy room, that was so last year.

There was no year-end recap

or reflection.

I'm quiet.

I'm processing.

I'm just trying to make sense of things.

Everything happens for a reason, this I am sure of.

It's trying to understand, make sense of, or discover the "why" of everything that I'm processing.

That's making me feel oh so quiet.

We've spent the entire month of January thus far, sick.

One morning I woke up nauseous and late and prayed that this was it... Only minutes later I realized that I was sick as shit, and not with morning sickness.  It was the stomach flu - and now a sinus infection and bronchitis.

We're taking Jackson back to the specialist in New Orleans tomorrow to discuss possible options to get him off antibiotics and out of the urgent care every other week.

I've peed on more sticks this month than I will share with you.

They all turn negative faster than I can put them on the counter.

I'm ready to loose my mind.

I'm ready to move forward.

Ready for the next step.

Ready to embrace our "infertility" title yet again.

I pray that you'll stick with us and be just as amazing and supportive as I become vulnerable and put it all out there yet again in our journey to grow our family.


Because looking into these eyes, and having his smile light up my life - I know that we cannot have just one of these precious gifts.  I know now more than anything, I need to give him the greatest gift of a sibling.

I know that we need to grow.

And the overcoming feeling of this finally being right for us has kicked in and I will do whatever it takes.

So bring it on cycle day 1.

No, really let's get this show started.

I am ready.

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11 comments:

Amy January 25, 2012 at 2:25 PM  

Man, I keep hoping to see a post where Jackson doesn't get sick anymore! Lots of hugs, momma!

I'll send lots of prayers for your way too!

Jamie January 25, 2012 at 3:18 PM  

prayers for you!

I'm a new follower, your little boy is so handsome!!!

Jamie

KJJ Houston January 25, 2012 at 5:00 PM  

Hi love, thinking of you and I am so sorry that Jack is so sick, I hate that you have to be in the ER and urgent clinics b/c its just so crazy to wait wait wait and then just get another round of meds to be back next week. I cant imagine.... so sorry love.

Im praying for you on the preg, you have been on my mind and Im glad you posted this.
Hanging with you and keeping those positive thoughts your way!
xo

Lindsay January 25, 2012 at 9:45 PM  

I've been following for awhile and never commented....you go girl!! Jackson will be such a good big brother! I'll be praying for you and that stunning fam!

Abbey January 25, 2012 at 10:28 PM  

Thinking of you! Jackson is too precious!;)

Mama Whitfield January 25, 2012 at 10:56 PM  

I could have written this post myself. Hang in there!

Amber January 26, 2012 at 12:48 AM  

Aww, you poor thing! Tons of prayers and support from over here!

Ashley January 26, 2012 at 11:22 AM  

I love you. And thinking of you always... let me know if you ever need anything, even just to vent. Believe me I understand ;)

Jenni January 26, 2012 at 11:47 AM  

Lots of prayers for you on the journey to growing your family and of course tons of healthy vibes for Jackson. =)

Jennifer January 27, 2012 at 6:17 AM  

Only you are able to make the decision on when is the right time for you to start the process. And if you are ready now, then we will be here, supporting and praying for you all the way!!

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