Working Momma

Well after 10 weeks of being home with my little man, it was sadly time for this momma to return to work on Monday. I am not going to lie, the anticipation of this day was horrible. The mere thought of leaving Jackson made my tummy twist, my heart ache and tears to flow uncontrollably. I was suddenly very upset that I couldn't stay home with him forever. I thought that I was such a "career women" and couldn't imagine what a bore my days would be sitting around the house surrounded by baby toys and baby talk. Surprisingly, that was now all I wanted to do.

How was I going to do it, how was I going to walk out the door and leave my boy, how was I going to pump at work, how was I going to survive a whole day without a nap??? Mr. Wilson totally didn't get it, he's been walking out the door since Jackson was born, what's the big deal? Where was his working woman??? I have changed.

Well I'm only on day 3, but I have to say that returning to work was a good thing - for me, my marriage and my son. Like I said, the anticipation and unanswered questions in my head were awful. But Monday morning came and I walked out the door. I didn't shed a tear, I drank a lot of coffee, I called home a lot, and I closed my door and pumped more than Jackson ate. The drive to work was weird, it felt like yesterday I was rubbing my belly and waddling into the office.

5 o'clock has a whole new meaning and the days have never felt longer. Jackson is a little fussy until I nurse him when I get home. But the schedule and routine of being at home with the sitter is already proving well for him. Last night he gave me the best gift of all - coos, smiles, cuddles and sleep. Yes, my friends I got to sleep last night. Jackson went a full 5 hours, ate and I had to wake him at 4 hours to nurse before I got ready for work.

So after all of the sweat, tears and fears - this working, nursing, pumping momma is doing good. I can do this!