Mr. Romantic

Well Mr. did it again, he pulled off a surprise night away without me even having the slightest idea! I think the fact that I absolutely hate surprises, makes him enjoy these occasions even more...

We celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary on the 14th, and had a big date night all planned out.  However, the morning of our said date night, Jackson and I both woke up sick.  Determined to still have a night out, I took Jackson to the doctor and convinced his pediatrician to give me samples of the same medication he prescribed for Jackson.  By the end of the day I was pretty jacked up on steroids and hot tea.  Still on my mission for a perfect date night, I was doing everything to fool myself into feeling better only to come home and find Mr. - sick in bed.

Date night canceled and our weekend was spent watching movies and lounging around.  Not the night out I had hoped for, but it was a perfect weekend anyway.

So on Friday, we had our rain check date night all planned out.  We were going to go to a new wine bar and fun restaurant near by.  I had my new outfit all picked out, a fresh pedicure and highlights to go with it!

Well at 10:30AM on Friday, Mr. came walking into my office and told me (and my boss) that I have to leave work no later than 3PM.  WHAT?!? There was no need to start our date night that early, but he insisted otherwise and needed a list of stuff to pack.  No wine bar, no fancy dress, just jeans and my overnight bag.

Did I mention how much I hate surprises, especially those that involve me leaving for the night without a clue as to where we are going and what we'll be doing!!!

I immediately thought we were going to New Orleans, since he pulled the same type of thing the night he proposed to me.  But, then we got on I-10 heading west, not east, toward Houston, TX.

And that was all I got to know until I refused to speak and pouted for 10 minutes while Mr. chuckled with delight.

When Mr. knew I meant business, he finally told me that we were going to Houston for the night and that he arranged for my parents to keep Jackson until we got back.  He had reservations for 7PM at The Foundation Room, and tickets for Christina Perri at the House of Blues. 

Talk about a total surprise!

We got in to Houston and quickly checked into our hotel, freshened up and shared a toast of champagne.  Our dinner at the Foundation Room was amazing and extra romantic.  The concierge thought we were really nice and deserved a little something extra, so he sat us in their private Ganesha room.  Ganesha is the Lord of Success - I may or may not have asked our dinner guest for some fertility success after a french martini or two;)

I wasn't too familiar with Christina Perri, but the show was awesome.  She has an amazing voice and was so stinking cute - like you would be lucky to be her friend because she just seems so sweet! 

After the show we passed by a dueling piano bar, which is a huge weakness of mine.  I sure did make Mr. pay the $7 cover so we could go sit on a bar stool and sing like some fools until very late in the night.  Seeing Mr. do soulja boy was well worth the cover, I'm just sayin'!  

I'm so thankful that after all these years Mr. is still sweeping me off my feet - even if I start out kicking and screaming!

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Baby 2.0

I'm not sure if I have total baby fever - or complete baby fear. I feel like half of my friends are announcing pregnancies or births, while the other half is dealing with infertility. And while the pregnancies and births make my uterus crave a baby - to the point of temping and charting and planning out the perfect date night to try and make a baby - seeing the pain and praying for my friends that are still trying to get their BFP - leaves me ready to run for the hills.

In all honesty, some of my fear of wanting another baby stems from our struggle with infertility, but there is also the uncertainty of being ready for another. Jackson totally rocked our world. It was months before Mr. and I adjusted to parenthood, with the help of a great counselor. I'm not naive enough to think that some of our issues won't surface again, but are we ready?!?

Mr. is 37 and I'm a month away from turning 29 - so our clocks are definitely ticking, which was confirmed by my doctor this week as well.  But, with the new house and paying off our vehicles, it's not like we have thousands of extra dollars laying around to pay for fertility treatments.

We pay 100% out of pocket for all treatments - every ultrasound, lab test, medication, and doctor visits.  Just to give you an idea, Jackson was over $3,000.  Thankfully, we got pregnant our first cycle.  My fear is that we won't be so lucky the next time around.  At what point do you stop - how do you put a price tag on a child?!? Jackson is completely priceless.

So with all this said, I had my annual exam with my OB/GYN on Tuesday.  I walked in to the appointment both nervous and excited.  I was hoping he'd tell me that my cycles looked great - be it irregular - but that I was possibly fertile.  And that he'd say I was young, have fun, make a baby - when you're ready.

Instead, I left there totally deflated and even more confused then ever.  It's taken me two days just to process everything.

Mr. and I have not used birth control since right after we got married - and have never gotten pregnant on our own, in 4 years.  Have we been trying all that time - not exactly, but apparently it was alarming to my doctor that I had not gotten pregnant yet.

Am I having an irregular cycle - no doubt - but I am still having a cycle on my own.  I'm a glass half full kind of gal:)

Sure, I'm about to be 29.  I was 25 when we started trying to get pregnant for Jackson.  Getting pregnant only gets harder the older you get, so my doctor doesn't understand what I'm waiting for.  He seriously asked me this.

Yes, my RE told me I was in premature ovarian failure - but couldn't that have changed since I got pregnant and started having a cycle again?!? I guess not, since my doctor practically picked up the phone and scheduled an appointment with my RE for me.

Hold the phone. 

I really want to see if we can do this on our own.  I realize that I am getting older.  That every month that passes my biological clock is ticking even harder.  And that last month's perfect chart may have been a total fluke, as this month is not a repeat.

But, I am going to give us a couple of month to see what happens.  I have some comfort knowing that if it doesn't happen on our own, I have a doctor that will fast-track me through to my RE.  If next months chart is as screwed up as this month, then I will do a CD 3 FSH ovarian reserve test and go from there. 

And just like that, I am coming out that we are trying for baby Wilson 2.0.  As my sister said to me last night - just do it.  So, we're going for it. 

Ready or not!

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Jackson's first school picture

Jackson's school had pictures a couple of weeks ago, and we were able to purchase the photos on Friday. I wasn't sure how Jackson would do, especially being that he spends more time in "time-out" then any other student there. But, from the looks of these pictures - I'd say he's a happy kid:)

Please excuse the quality, I took a picture of the photos with my phone. I didn't feel like getting the scanner out!

P.S. Where did my baby go?!? I cannot believe how grown up my sweet boy looks is!!!

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My beach trip with Jackson

Back in the day, Mr. and I were total road warriors.  I've always been a traveler and love to be on the go. My dad used to work for the airlines, so we got to fly for free everywhere we went. It was nothing for me to leave high school and jump on a plane to LA or Hawaii for the weekend, hell I'd even fly home from college for lunch and be back for night class. I was very independent and could navigate my way through any airport or big city. Oh to be young and fly for free again!

The real world changes things.

Instead of jet setting to see the world - we bust our asses to keep our jobs, raise a family, and keep afloat. I can't say that we don't see the world, or travel often, I mean we just got back from St. John weeks ago. But, we don't exactly have the jump in the car and go lifestyle that we once had.

Having a baby changes things.

And I certainly don't have the independence or self-confidence that I had at 18 - but I got a little piece of my mojo back last weekend and it was amazing!

The background: My sister lives in St. Louis and is a teacher, so she has the summers off. My mom lives around the block from me in Louisiana. I see my mom almost daily, and she has made a promise to see my sister at least once every six weeks. This means that she travels up to St. Louis or flies them down here a lot. But, it's still not everyday and being 10+ hours away from each other just sucks.

Anyway, my mom wanted some one-on-one time with Megan and Amelia, so they planned a 10-day trip from St. Louis to Destin, FL and back home.  I'm not going to lie, I was bummed that we had to sit out this trip, but I totally understood why.  It was torture knowing that my sister and sweet niece were just six hours away and I wasn't going to see them...

My sister must have felt the same way - I love the bond we have now that we're older!

At 5:15PM on Thursday I got a text while I was still at work telling me that mom says come on if you bring one swimsuit and two dresses - the room is full and we'll have to share a bed.  Um, wait - what?!?

I about had a panic attack.  Of course, I wanted to go to the beach.  But, I have a job, and a husband, and I was going to clean the house... until my boss told me to go, my husband laughed and said that I had to go, and well the house has still yet to be cleaned... I packed Jackson and myself in one bag and Mr. loaded us into my car with enough snacks for a month, followed us to the gas station, filled up my car and put air in my tires.

And at 7:15PM on Thursday night, I was about to embark on a 6 hour car ride - with my toddler, all alone.  It was terrifying and thrilling all at the same time.

Jackson's DVD player broke about :30 seconds into the trip and he cried the entire way to the interstate.  He was pissed and wanted to watch Cars and this frazzled momma almost turned around and decided not to go.  But, before I knew it Jackson calmed down and we were counting the trucks on the highway.  We stopped in Baton Rouge for some coffee and changed Jackson's diaper before it was time for him to snooze the night away.

I'm normally a night owl, but I started to get a little sleepy around the halfway point.  Luckily, Stephanie called and the next hour and a half flew by! My coffee kicked in and I had my BFF on the phone.  And then I had to pee and there was no chance I could make it without stopping.  Jackson was sound asleep and I really wished I had my Mr, so much so that I seriously contemplated putting on one of Jackson's diapers... don't worry, I didn't.  We stopped and I carried Jackson into the quick stop, peed and got us in the car (with more coffee) without him even waking up! He did wake up when I started the car, but he chatted with me the rest of the drive to the beach.

We made it to the Sandestin Hilton at about 1:30 in the morning my sister came down to help us up to the room.  Jackson was so excited to see his Aumee, even though he asked where his Uncle Shorty was no less then 599, 876, 300 times:) It's been a long time since we've both traveled sans husbands!

The next 2.5 days were spent going on walks, eating and drinking by the pool, playing in the sand, holding my niece, "shwimmin" with my little fish, laughing and capturing melt.your.heart moments like these.

Jackson and I slept together on the pullout couch and even though the mattress sucked, waking up to his sugars and Amelia's baby snorts was just what I needed.  The weekend was simply amazing and Jackson was 100 times better then I hoped he'd be - even if he refused to smile for the camera!

Our drive back home took a little longer then going, but Jackson did great.  His new airplane was the best $26 I've ever spent, and $100 less then the DVD player that may or may not be on the side of the road somewhere between Florida and Louisiana;) He's still sleeping with the hard wooden plane every night!

Traveling with Jackson alone may sound like a silly accomplishment, but I feel like it was a huge momma milestone.  Watch out world, you never know where we'll end up next!

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Tidbit Tuesday

I feel like we've had so much going on that I just haven't had a chance to post about, I guess that means we're having fun:)

Would you believe that I went back to the beach over the weekend - just me and Jackson, 6 hours in a car?!? Talk about a momma milestone for me! I promise, this will be a post of it's own.

My lovely Brummett Bunch came a stayed the night with us on their way back from vacation and were our first guests in the new house! We had such a fun night swimming, barbecuing, and fishing in the pond. The kiddos played so well together and had a big slumber party in Jackson's room. Seeing our babies cuddles up together makes my heart so happy!

 We took Jackson to see Cars 2, his first movie at the theater, and he loved it! He ate his popcorn and snacks and didn't move for almost the whole movie.  About 5 minutes before it ended, he stood up and said all done and proceeded to walk out to the isle - I guess it wasn't the ending he hoped for?!? All in all we were impressed and are looking forward to taking him to more kid movies.  It made for an awesome family date on a hot Sunday afternoon.

Speaking of firsts, Jackson also went to the dentist for his first check-up.  I really liked the dentist we selected, she was super nice and sweet to Jackson.  He let them floss and brush his teeth like a big boy, I was shocked he did so well! The room was a big play room full of exam tables.  So he could play and get his teeth cleaned:) We did find out that Jackson has an extra tooth, so glad we got to go through the joys of teething an extra time! The dentist explained that it wasn't a big deal, she'll only have to pull it if he gets an extra permanent tooth as well.

We've finished our house projects for the time being.  Our plantation shutters for the living room and kitchen came in and look fabulous! And I found bar stools that I really like, so our kitchen is complete.  We really want to add copper awnings to the back of our house and get new patio furniture, but that may be a project for next year.

I love everything about our house, except for the hardwood floors.  I would love to rip them out and start over - never do a dark wood floor! They show every spec of dirt and every mark your toddler leaves behind with his trains and cars and trucks.

We're trying to plan one last trip for the summer, to visit my dad and sister in St. Louis.  Mr.'s work schedule has been c.r.a.z.y. so I really hope we can squeeze a trip in before football season starts!

Happy Tidbit Tuesday:)

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Once an infertile...

Once an infertile, always an infertile?!?  This question has pretty much been on my mind since the first day we sat in the waiting room at our RE's office back in September of 2008...

I often find myself wondering if we'll have to go back to that same waiting room each and every time we decide to grow our family. 

What would I say when I called to make our appointment? Would the nurses remember us? Would we be so lucky to get pregnant again on our first cycle? Would my meds be the same? What if I wait too long and my body doesn't respond as well because I'm many years older the next time around? What if it doesn't work?

That last question haunts me. 

And then I look at Jackson.  That child of mine melts my heart.  He makes me feel so complete and more blessed then I ever knew possible.  Sometimes I wonder if this fulfillment is because he is supposed to be my only one - or if it's to give me the courage to do it all over again?!?

Then there was a day, not so long ago, that my mind-racing questions shifted. And I starting thinking maybe, just maybe, we could do this on our own?!?  You know, the good ole' fashion way of having unplanned, un-prescribed intercourse with my husband that would result in baby #2.  That thought was a happy, butterfly in my tummy, nerve racking thought.  The feeling you are supposed to have when you think about your family's future. 

I'm not sure what the point of this post is, just as I'm not sure what the future holds for my little family. What I do know is that I randomly woke up one morning, and decided to take out my trusty BBT thermometer.  To my surprise, this once infertile momma had a text book cycle.  Ovulation dip and rise and all.  I have no idea if this was a one time deal, or if this is the new - possibly fertile me. 

My cycles are no where near regular and range from 30 - 50 days, but it's enough to give me hope.  Just the mere fact that I'm having a cycle at all is miraculous and leaves me continuously unprepared each and every month when "my time" comes around.

So my friends, I guess time will only tell.  I'm not making any future appointments with our RE or running out buying Big Brother shirts, but I am enjoying the butterflies and the hope that I have for the time being.

Once an infertile...

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4th of July Weekend

I cannot think of a better word to describe our long weekend then blissful. It was simply pure bliss and my heart is oh so full right now.

The long holiday weekend was just what my little family needed to reconnect and refresh. Jackson was full of laughter and snuggles.all.weekend.long and we both enjoyed having Daddy around. Mr. has a new case that is taking up a lot of his time, but he was able to steal away a whole afternoon with us on Sunday!

We spent a lot of time at the pool and had a couple of BBQs at the house. Our new neighbors are amazing and have become fast friends, which makes the new house even better!

The weather was hot, but the afternoon thunderstorms made for great naps and movie time. I even took a lazy afternoon nap on Sunday, which is pretty much unheard of! Mr. said that I was napping with the biggest smile on my face:) I don't know what it was, but I needed this weekend more then I knew!

I hope y'all had a wonderful 4th of July as well:)

Our first family picture at the new house!

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Things to remember

It is truly amazing to watch your baby grow into a toddler in what seems like overnight. The rate in which these little tots grow before your eyes makes me catch my breath sometimes. One week can totally change everything.

This phase too shall pass.

In a period of 7 short days, Jackson as gone from clinging to me and wrapping his arms around my neck for dear life from the moment he wakes up to the moment his teacher has to peel him out of my arms to leaping out of bed and running into his classroom without even waving bye!

This phase too shall pass.

On Monday morning Jackson woke up and you could just tell his attitude about school had changed. Mr. took him and came home in shock. Jackson went in without a fuss and sat in his chair and waited for breakfast. There were definitely some high fives at the Wilson's!

This phase too shall pass.

Fast forward to Thursday - I walked into Jackson's room to wake him up and he stood up and greeted me with "HI Momma!". I picked out a new shirt from Loli for him to wear and he started squealing. I couldn't get him dressed fast enough before he was running for the door to go to school. When we got there, he didn't want me to carry him in. Oh no, my big boy had to walk in. I asked if he was ready for school and he roared YES and took off. No wave, no kiss bye, no looking back!

I just could not believe what a difference one week made!

Last night I was thinking about my little man and just had to get out of bed to peek in on him. I guess he was thinking about me too because at 10:30PM he was sitting up in his bed and was so excited I came to check on him. I decided to bring him to bed with us because well, sometime we just need some cuddles and babies grow too fast!

This phase too shall pass.

When we got back to our bed Jackson cuddled up and smiled the biggest smile and did a little dance before we all snoozed the night away.

These are the memories I want to remember for a lifetime:)

Lastly, I'll leave you with a recap from this morning because this phase too shall pass.

Mr. brought Jackson into our bathroom to say bye before dropping him off. I asked Jackson for a kiss, and in typical boy style, he made me fight for my sugars. As they were walking away, our conversation went like this:

Momma: I love you boys
Jackson: Love you
Momma: Be a sweet boy today
Jackson: You too, bye-bye

This just made me smile, I hope I can be a sweet boy today. I'd hate to disappoint:)

Happy long weekend loves!!!

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