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Once an infertile...

>> Monday, July 11, 2011

Once an infertile, always an infertile?!?  This question has pretty much been on my mind since the first day we sat in the waiting room at our RE's office back in September of 2008...

I often find myself wondering if we'll have to go back to that same waiting room each and every time we decide to grow our family. 

What would I say when I called to make our appointment? Would the nurses remember us? Would we be so lucky to get pregnant again on our first cycle? Would my meds be the same? What if I wait too long and my body doesn't respond as well because I'm many years older the next time around? What if it doesn't work?

That last question haunts me. 

And then I look at Jackson.  That child of mine melts my heart.  He makes me feel so complete and more blessed then I ever knew possible.  Sometimes I wonder if this fulfillment is because he is supposed to be my only one - or if it's to give me the courage to do it all over again?!?

Then there was a day, not so long ago, that my mind-racing questions shifted. And I starting thinking maybe, just maybe, we could do this on our own?!?  You know, the good ole' fashion way of having unplanned, un-prescribed intercourse with my husband that would result in baby #2.  That thought was a happy, butterfly in my tummy, nerve racking thought.  The feeling you are supposed to have when you think about your family's future. 

I'm not sure what the point of this post is, just as I'm not sure what the future holds for my little family. What I do know is that I randomly woke up one morning, and decided to take out my trusty BBT thermometer.  To my surprise, this once infertile momma had a text book cycle.  Ovulation dip and rise and all.  I have no idea if this was a one time deal, or if this is the new - possibly fertile me. 

My cycles are no where near regular and range from 30 - 50 days, but it's enough to give me hope.  Just the mere fact that I'm having a cycle at all is miraculous and leaves me continuously unprepared each and every month when "my time" comes around.

So my friends, I guess time will only tell.  I'm not making any future appointments with our RE or running out buying Big Brother shirts, but I am enjoying the butterflies and the hope that I have for the time being.

Once an infertile...
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9 comments:

the tichenor family July 11, 2011 at 5:21 PM  

Sweet mama, I hope and pray that "once an infertile..." ends just as happily the second time around as it did the first time you asked that question. You have such a precious little family! I have no doubt that you will be blessed again!

Lindsey B July 11, 2011 at 5:26 PM  

I am praying that you are in the "ocne an infertile, then a surprise baby" camp!!

Amy July 11, 2011 at 7:16 PM  

GOOD LUCK! While I didn't have trouble getting pg the first time around, I had SO many issues after Brady was born, I'm afraid that we will when we decide to have the next one...oh I could go on with my 'worries', lol but i'll shut up and just wish you lots of luck! :) Also, I have heard so many sucess stories the 2nd time around, here is hoping you will be too!

Momma Wilson July 11, 2011 at 8:50 PM  

Thank y'all so much for your kind words and wishes! Were not exactly trying, or planning for no. 2...but that's the beauty of it...just seeing what happens and hoping for a surprise:)

Jennifer July 11, 2011 at 10:11 PM  

I will keep my fingers crossed that things will happen naturally :) And if it doesn't and you need to travel the road you have already been down, then so be it. What is meant to be will be. You are truly blessed with a beautiful family :)

Lisa July 12, 2011 at 8:33 AM  

They say sometimes pregnancy can 'fix' you or 'reset' you...so hopefully that will be the case with you!! Hoping and praying you dont have to ever set foot in the RE's office again!

Morgan and Andy July 12, 2011 at 8:44 AM  

Rarely leave comments, but just wanted to encourage you. Our 3 year old was an IUI baby - 2nd time was successful. We went back to our Dr. to start working on baby # 2, spent about $3000.00 preparing for our first IUI this round (testing, drugs, etc.), took a month break to go on vacation, and guess who came back pregnant. . . I'm now 5 weeks pregnant and still in complete shock. 6 years of no "goalie in the goal" and I was just sure that it would never happen on our own. Just remember that God's plan is always perfect. Good luck!!! : )

Morgan and Andy July 12, 2011 at 8:49 AM  

I rarely comment, but just had to leave you a few words of encouragement. Our 3 year old is an IUI baby - 2nd IUI was successful. We recently went back to the Dr. to work on baby #2. We spent about $3000 on testing, drugs & preparation for an IUI, then had to take off a month for vacation. Guess who came back pregnant from vacation. . . I am now 5 weeks pregnant and still in complete shock. After 6 years of "no goalie in the goal" we were sure it would never happen on our own. God has a funny way of reminding us that His plan is always perfect. Good luck!!

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