Grandma's 90th birthday

Today would have been my Grandma's 90th birthday. For as long as I can remember, she always said she'd live to be 90. She made it just three months shy. But, I wish she was still here. I wish that she was still with us, physically. I wish that we were celebrating her day with her today.

Instead I have tears in my eyes and a lump in the back of my throat just thinking about her. I can't tell you the number of times I wanted to call her, to see her, or tell her about Jackson's first boo boo, or his ears, or have him blow her a kiss.

Jackson brought so much joy to her life, but I don't think she ever knew how much joy she brought to ours. It saddens me that Jackson won't remember is first year with her.

Grandma was 38 and my grandpa was in his late 40's when they finally got pregnant with my mom, she was their only child. I must have inherited my fertility struggles from her. Neither one of my grandparents ever thought they'd live see grandchildren or great-grandchildren.

My grandpa passed away when I was 11 and my sister was 8. So, Grandma never took one day for granted. Everyday was a gift from God. She fought stage 4 ovarian cancer for almost 5 years. Chemotherapy was pumped through her veins every other week as she fought to be with us - to see both of her grandchildren walk down the isle, to see her great-grandson's first year, and to tell my sister that she was pregnant.

My Grandma was nothing less than extraordinary and today will always be her day. I'll forever fight to live a lift that would make her proud.

Jackson and Grandma on her 89th birthday

A heart that loves is always young.
- greek proverb