sick.tired.overwhelmed.

That pretty much sums up my life right now.

It all started last Thursday with a video message from our rock star nanny. Jackson was pitiful. Teary-eyed. Saying Momma, momma, momma over and over again. He was obviously not feeling well. I ran home and gave him lots of cuddles and assessed the situation. His nose was pouring, he was warm and he was tugging at his ears. Our nanny was convinced he had an ear infection.

Since I'm 3 for 3 on taking Jackson to the doctor for this same behavior and told it's teething, I didn't listen to her. They all say that breastfed babies don't get ear infections and to stop worrying. Then they point out new teeth that are poking though, causing the symptoms. So, I didn't worry and went back to work. Jackson always tugs on his ears, so this was no different.

Well folks, I had a Momma fail moment. Our nanny knew my son better than I did. She kept saying he had an ear infection. And I was convinced it was just his teeth...until later that night.

I've never seen my baby is as much pain as he was in Thursday night. All night, he cried a cry I've never heard. A cry of such pain, I cried with him. Can you imagine the guilt I felt for going back to work instead of taking him to the doctor?!?

So Friday morning, off to the doctor he went with Mr. {another Momma fail moment in my book. Work came before my son and I'm not sure why I did that}. Our pediatrician was out of town, so I sent my boys to the doctor on call. The last time I was so sure Jackson had an ear infection, this guy not so nicely told me it was just teeth.

Turns out that that breastfed babies can and do get ear infections. Not only did Jackson have an ear infection, but both of his ears were infected! We immediately started Jackson on an antibiotic and were told to give him over the counter medicine for pain and nasal congestion.

As the weekend progressed, so did Jackson's infection. And running on empty with a sick baby is just exhausting. Even more so you feel completely helpless. Every four to six hours I was pumping my baby full of medication that seemed to do no good.

By Monday Jackson developed a terrible cough. His little voice even turned hoarse. So I waited for 8AM on Tuesday and called our doctor's office for an immediate appointment.

We went in and I talked to our doctor about the lack of improvement and pain Jackson is still in. Jackson's ears are still red and full of fluid, after 5 days of antibiotics. Oh, and he's cutting two more teeth! So, we're trying a different antibiotic and a prescription nasal decongestant to help with the drainage. No more over the counter meds!

Jackson was already showing signs of improvement last night. We still didn't get a full night's sleep, but it was better. Teething tabs came to the rescue a couple of times:)

I'm so ready for my baby to feel good! The Momma fail guilt is getting the best of me, and I know it shouldn't. I think the lack of sleep leads to the suffocating, overwhelming feeling with life in general. Oh how a night of sleep would fix things!

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
-Eleanor Roosevelt