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>> Wednesday, September 8, 2010

That pretty much sums up my life right now.

It all started last Thursday with a video message from our rock star nanny. Jackson was pitiful. Teary-eyed. Saying Momma, momma, momma over and over again. He was obviously not feeling well. I ran home and gave him lots of cuddles and assessed the situation. His nose was pouring, he was warm and he was tugging at his ears. Our nanny was convinced he had an ear infection.

Since I'm 3 for 3 on taking Jackson to the doctor for this same behavior and told it's teething, I didn't listen to her. They all say that breastfed babies don't get ear infections and to stop worrying. Then they point out new teeth that are poking though, causing the symptoms. So, I didn't worry and went back to work. Jackson always tugs on his ears, so this was no different.

Well folks, I had a Momma fail moment. Our nanny knew my son better than I did. She kept saying he had an ear infection. And I was convinced it was just his teeth...until later that night.

I've never seen my baby is as much pain as he was in Thursday night. All night, he cried a cry I've never heard. A cry of such pain, I cried with him. Can you imagine the guilt I felt for going back to work instead of taking him to the doctor?!?

So Friday morning, off to the doctor he went with Mr. {another Momma fail moment in my book. Work came before my son and I'm not sure why I did that}. Our pediatrician was out of town, so I sent my boys to the doctor on call. The last time I was so sure Jackson had an ear infection, this guy not so nicely told me it was just teeth.

Turns out that that breastfed babies can and do get ear infections. Not only did Jackson have an ear infection, but both of his ears were infected! We immediately started Jackson on an antibiotic and were told to give him over the counter medicine for pain and nasal congestion.

As the weekend progressed, so did Jackson's infection. And running on empty with a sick baby is just exhausting. Even more so you feel completely helpless. Every four to six hours I was pumping my baby full of medication that seemed to do no good.

By Monday Jackson developed a terrible cough. His little voice even turned hoarse. So I waited for 8AM on Tuesday and called our doctor's office for an immediate appointment.

We went in and I talked to our doctor about the lack of improvement and pain Jackson is still in. Jackson's ears are still red and full of fluid, after 5 days of antibiotics. Oh, and he's cutting two more teeth! So, we're trying a different antibiotic and a prescription nasal decongestant to help with the drainage. No more over the counter meds!

Jackson was already showing signs of improvement last night. We still didn't get a full night's sleep, but it was better. Teething tabs came to the rescue a couple of times:)

I'm so ready for my baby to feel good! The Momma fail guilt is getting the best of me, and I know it shouldn't. I think the lack of sleep leads to the suffocating, overwhelming feeling with life in general. Oh how a night of sleep would fix things!

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
-Eleanor Roosevelt



Lindsey :) September 8, 2010 at 3:33 PM  

Aww, DO NOT feel guilty! Two times, when I took Noah in for his regulary monthly check-up, I was told he had a double ear infection both times... and I had no clue! I know those things are rough though, Noah had his share before he got tubes. But, try not to be too hard on yourself! I can tell you're a wonderful mom and I'm sure Jackson thinks so too! :)

Lindsey September 8, 2010 at 5:38 PM  

I am so sorry to hear that Jackson has had a rough few days. But, glad he is showing signs of improvement.

And, while I hate that you are having mommy guilt (you are being too hard on yourself - you are an awesome mom!) I am glad to hear I am not alone in the feeling like a failure sometimes department!

I agree that no sleep + sick baby (in our case it is reflux pain) can lead to some hard days.

Praying for y'all!

Heather September 8, 2010 at 6:04 PM  

Dont feel bad! I only nursed Lucy and every time I took her in for a well baby visit she would have double ear infections. I would always ask the Dr why i wouldn't have a clue. He told me a good thing to look for was if a baby is getting over a cold and something like a runny nose doesn't go away and keeps hanging around they may have an ear infection. Us Moms can't feel guilty, we are just doing the best we can! So dont worry.Hope he feels better soon.

KJJ Houston September 8, 2010 at 9:37 PM  

Oh honey!! I know exactly how you feel. Jack ALWAYS pulls at his ears and Im certain I have even over looked one mysef. I have taken him to the Dr so many times to get the "nope no ear infection". So I then just told myself Im not going to the Dr everytime...but now I worry what if he does and poor baby is in pain. SO SAD
Its quarter end for me, Im actually still working and just took a break to read blogs...but you know we do it all for these sweet boys! I love my job and I know you do too, no matter how hard they work us, or for that matter we work ourselves I know it wouldnt be changed for anything. We dont "have" to work we do it bc we want to. So dont feel bad know that you handled it the best you knew how :)

Sippy Cup Mom September 8, 2010 at 10:45 PM  

Please don't feel guilty! It's just so hard to know! Want to hear my mama fail moment? I brought H all around the mall, got pictures taken, etc. He was grumpy but I figured he was just in a bad mood. Turns out when I brought him to the pedi the next day after a terrible night he had H1N1. Now how bad did I feel that I dragged him all around all day??

Hope J is feeling better!!

Meet the Brummett's September 8, 2010 at 11:15 PM  

Don't beat yourself up over this my friend. Just remember that you are the best Mommy in the world to sweet baby Jackson and in his book, you hung the moon...that is all that matters! Can't wait to see all of you very soon :)

Lea Liz September 9, 2010 at 8:27 AM  

Poor baby boy!! Don't feel gulity it happens too all of us Mama's!! Hope he is feeling better soon!!

Ashley September 9, 2010 at 12:08 PM  

Your only human, you do everything you can for Jackson, please do not beat yourself up for this. Kids get ear aches, tummy aches, and tooth aches, you are such a great mommy you make it all look so easy!
I hope the little guy gets to feeling better soon!

Amber September 9, 2010 at 2:51 PM  

Awww, poor baby J! Please, don't be hard on yourself. You're an awesome momma! Hope everything gets better for you all soon. xoxo.

Meant to be a mom September 9, 2010 at 9:00 PM  

Awe poor little Jackson. I hope he gets 100% very very soon.

As far as you go. Don't beat yourself up about it. I understand more than I can explain how you feel. I have put things off also thinking, No way! I took him before and they acted almost annoyed because it was nothing.
As far as the work before you child. Sometimes its hard to judge but in hindsight you realize. I've done it too. Its just teaching us to be even better parents in the future. Its ok. We all do it once before we realize. It just shows your a great mom because you do care so much and its bothering you.

No worries. Your a great mom, Jackson loves you to pieces :)

Jennifer September 10, 2010 at 10:32 AM  

I know we had spoken about this, but I am just reading the post now (a little behind on my blog reading..LOL). I guess since I did not breastfeed, I did not know that breastfed babies 'are not supposed' to get ear infections. But, like anything else, your child is an individual and I try not to listen to those things. Ear infections can be tricky to diagnose as a mom, so don't feel to bad. We all are going to have those is part of mommyhood. The important thing is that he is now feeling better.

Karen September 15, 2010 at 8:28 PM  

Aw, I am so sorry!!! Do not feel guilty!! Jillian has had several ear infections and she is also breastfed. Perhaps it's an urban myth of Motherhood that they don't :) Hang in there, I hope your man is better soon!!

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