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Big Brother Jackson

>> Monday, April 30, 2012

Mother's intuition is somewhat of a crazy thing I tell y'all.  I have just known since "the baby in the box" (fertility medication) arrived that this was going to be it...

From my golden Easter eggs to my rising beta levels - for this child, we have all prayed!

The details:
Exactly one year in the making!
Saturday, April 21 (9DPO) - negative pregnancy test (confirmation that HCG trigger shot was out of my system)

Sunday, April 22 (10DPO) - faint positive test that was enough for me to run out in the garage to show Mr. and go text crazy over analyzing the results

Monday, April 23 (11DPO) - still faint, but darker positive test.  Called doctor's office and they said to come in for beta test.  (October 23rd was my first beta with Jackson as well, hence the 23rd being my new favorite date) Beta level was a 17, which means that you really can just be a little bit pregnant.  Below 5 is negative, but you're not considered pregnant until your beta is above 25.  Progesterone was 20.

Wednesday, April 25 (13DPO) - repeat beta, level more than doubled in 48 hours to 61.4 (your beta must double every 48 hours)

Friday, April 27 (15DPO) - third and final beta, level more than doubled once again to 234 (I think, I was so excited that I forgot to write the number down.  I do know that it was in the two hundred and thirty somethings).  The nurse finally said without a doubt, you are pregnant and your levels are fantastic!!!

Monday, May 14 - first ultrasound scheduled

Friday, January 4 - Due date:)
Jackson's smile says it all - he is thrilled about being a big brother already! This weekend he told me that baby sister was cookin' in my belly and proceeded to lift the covers and gave the baby a kiss.!

Mr. is pretty ecstatic too, but maybe more relived that my crazy hormones have chilled out a little bit.  However, he is already panicked that our due date is dangerously close to the national championship football game.  He is convinced that this is our year and he'll have to miss it.  A couple days after Jackson was born, LSU won the college world series in baseball, so this very well may be our year:)

Please keep praying that all continues to go well and that we get to hear our sweet baby's heartbeat in two long weeks!



Keeping Busy!

>> Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Did this week drag on as slowly for you as it did for me?!?

One good thing about the week was that we were able to tackle a ton of house projects in order to keep good and distracted. However, I highly advise against starting to strip product off of your wood floors at 8PM at night...especially when your house is 90% hardwood. True story, and three full days of my house cleaner's magic later, the floors have been restored to their original beauty. If you own a bottle of orange glo wood floor cleaner - THROW IT AWAY! It almost ruined my floors!

Mr. power washed every inch of concrete and finally got rid of that new construction white powder that's been haunting me (and said floors) since the day we moved in.  You can basically eat off of our garage floor, sidewalk, driveway, patio and outdoor living space!

Speaking of our outdoor living space, I pinned this couch a few weeks ago and decided on a whim to order it.  Do you follow me on Pinterest? Mr. put together the couch while Jackson and I assembled our new coffee table, it was so easy. We're so in love! I've curled up on it pretty much every night after work and watched Jackson call for his lizards:) It's the little things!

Ah yes, so I bet you're probably wondering when I'm going to update about my cycle. Such anticipation, but unfortunately, I'm just not ready to go there...yet:) I will say that the 23rd of the month is my favorite day for two reasons now.  And I'm pretty sure all of my boys will proudly sport 23 as their lucky sport's number;)

Many updates will come soon, very soon.  I promise!

It's festival week and our other Wilson's are coming all the way down from St. Louis for a visit.  I think I may burst with excitement.  Only one more sleep!!!



Warning: Highly Hormonal

>> Wednesday, April 18, 2012

It's exactly one week (down to the minute) from when I triggered ovulation. So, in a perfect world, I am one week away from peeing on a stick and seeing two pink lines!

The past week has been a whirlwind of emotions and has left me a bit crazy...I am positive Mr. is referring to me as his psycho bitch of a wife...and I can't really help it.  Sorry babe, I don't like me either!

Our weekend was really nice. We hosted happy hour, I sun tanned in the pool, we meandered through Lowe's, potted plants, and I started spring cleaning the patio. My bloating was in full force all weekend, so I was sure to rest and stay plenty hydrated.  Surprisingly, we were able to get so much done while Mr. worked 99.5% of the weekend.

Luckily, I'm physically feeling so much better this week.  My breasts are still pretty tender, which is a side effect of the HCG.  If I stand in the right light, I may have myself convinced that I'm getting darker blue veins running through my breasts as well.  This was the first pregnancy symptom I experienced with Jackson, so I find it exciting! My temperature is remaining steady at 98.1, which is higher than last month's 97.9. 

All in all, I am feeling very confident that this cycle worked.  I have this strong gut feeling that we're having twin boys and I am already referring to them in my head as Ben & Charlie.  The same gut feeling or mother's intuition that is letting me know such is also making me loose my freaking mind.

I'm in hyper-mood and will jump down pretty much anyone's neck.  I'm pissed at the world for such ridiculous things.  And while I'm kicking my list's ass, I am annoyed that the only way to get things done is to do it myself. 

Mr.'s job is insanely demanding and takes precedence over a lot, but hey, it also pays the bills.  So, I have to be careful when complaining about the hours he puts in.  In all honesty, I'm sure he would much rather take my car for an oil change or figure out what the hell the crazy noise coming from my car is or mow the grass jungle or spend time with us...well maybe just Jackson.  Arguing workers comp defense and tax law may be better than dealing with my crazy-self.

I know, this phase too shall pass.

I'm just ready to move forward.  I'm ready to be done dealing with infertility.  I'm ready to see what our future has in store for us, so that I can live in the now.  I'm so sick of counting cycle days and obsessing over every vein and twitch inside my body. And I know my hyper-mood/nesting is my way of dealing with things.  But, God help you if you get in my way trying to get everything done.  I have to be in control of something, especially since I'm so out of control of my body and it's lack of reproductive skills!

So, if you pass me and I'm quiet...let me be.  And if I say something out of character, I am sorry in advance.  I know I'm crazy and highly hormonal, and now you do too!  You've been warned:)

Flowers from my sweet boys this week, I think they're scared too:)


My Golden Egg(s)

>> Thursday, April 12, 2012

To say that the past 24 hours have been a whirlwind of emotions is beyond an understatement.  I've even considered not putting this information on the blog...but, this is just as much my journal as it is a public blog.  So, here it goes:

It all started first thing yesterday morning.  I woke up feeling more full (best word to describe the feeling in my gut/uterus/ovaries) than I thought possible.  I was seriously concerned about the ultrasound wand not being able to fit inside of me, full.  No worries, it did and was very uncomfortable.

The ultrasound showed that my uterine lining measured an 11, and that my ovaries are so large they are literally kissing each other.  Hello, this explains the full feeling!

And then the counting of the follicles 19mm, one 17mm, four 16mm, three 15mm, and a few more 11mm - 14mm that didn't make the top list.

It was at that point that Dr. A. came to talk to me about canceling this cycle and my stomach dropped.  She felt that I was at too high of a risk for high number multiples.

Mr. and I want another child, but not our own TV show.  However, just two days ago I sat in the same chair and Dr. A wanted to be greedy and grow more...and now we just cancel?  I just couldn't hardly process the thought, and the waste of $1,800.  How do I just walk away!

Dr. A. sent me on my way with a lot to think about.  We made the agreement to wait and make the call to cancel once my blood work results came back.

At about 10AM my nurse called and said that my E2 came back at 733, indicating that it was possible I have 4 mature eggs.  She said that Dr. A really recommended that I cancel, but she would allow me to make the call.  If we decided to proceed, I needed to do my trigger shot ASAP! Talk about pressure.

I prayed.  I thanked God for giving me the golden egg(s) that I asked for.  I asked for guidance.  I talked everything out with Mr...and my mom...and Stephanie...and if my sister wasn't in class, I would have called her too.  God knows that I cannot make a decision without these people:)

And then I went home and I triggered!

The fun part of the baby making process began with our first night of timed intercourse, that may have been more nerve wracking that losing my virginity.

I surly took a sleeping pill to help me sleep because there was no way I would sleep at all if I didn't.  There were about a thousand different conversations going on in my head - running through all of the what-if scenarios.

And surprisingly, for the first time in 60 days, I woke up with a sense of calmness that I can't describe. I have been taking some form of hormones or medication related to infertility since February 12th. Something inside finally felt right, like this could maybe be it!

To solidify this feeling, I came back to the good ole' blog and re-read my posts about my cycle with Jackson.  And wouldn't you know, this cycle mirrors his so much.

My blog from October 2008 (aka Jackson's cycle):
"At my ultrasound last Thursday I had one 18mm, one 17mm, and lots of 14mm follicles. My lining was 8.6, which they said was very good. Dr. S. had me do a 6th night of the Follistim to let my follicles get a little bigger"

After reading the post, I immediately called the office this morning to 1. confess that we had decided to move forward and 2. to ask what my E2 level was with Jackson's cycle...are you ready for was 707 and Dr. S. had me do another night of Follistim before we triggered!  He never once mentioned over stimulation, high number multiples or the thought of canceling.

All in all, I'm relieved that we made the decision to move forward.  I respect the fact that Dr. A is more conservative than Dr. S.  And in all other aspects of my life - I am very conservative.  But, we have a chance here to grow our family, and we have to take it! I know that there's a 25% chance for twins, and a 5% chance for triplets or more...but those chances almost always come with fertility treatments.  We've known that from the beginning.

Finally, I can relax knowing that my levels were actually probably higher with Jackson and we ended up with our first love. Maybe tonight's baby making can be a little more enjoyable;)


Easter Weekend 2012

>> Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Our Easter weekend may have been the best weekend we've had in a long time! The fun started on Thursday nights and continued through Easter Sunday.

My little family of three enjoyed a beautiful night of dancing and drinks (Sprite for Jackson, of course) at Rhythms on the River Thursday night.  Jackson shares in our love for music and shakes his little booty to the beat!  Since Good Friday was the following day, it was nice to enjoy a night out without rushing home for bedtime.  However, we did sleep fast because our Shorty's were coming to visit in the morning!

Love my boys:)
As soon as Jackson woke up, he was ready to see his Shorty, Aume', 'melia's and baby Ellie Jayne!  

Yep, we're going to have another niece come late August!
Mr. cool dude
The next 48 hours flew by.
Miss diva getting her tan on!
We swam, we ate, we drank, we tanned, we ate, we laughed, we visited the Easter Bunny and we hunted eggs.  My step-brothers were also at my mom and step-dad's house for the weekend, which made for a full house! We wouldn't have it any other way though.  In fact, it's times like this past weekend that assure me we are doing the right thing by trying to grow our family.
Look Loli, I got my dino!
My mom and her girls + jackson
Loli & the grandkids
Love my sister - I hope Amelia and Ellie are the same!
Momma and her boys!
I am a little past the point of baby fever, but I don't think I'll ever get past the need for Jackson to have siblings.  All weekend I just wanted to pinch myself - we were all together, cousins playing, brother-in-laws bonding, uncles spoiling their niece and nephew, grandparents bursting with love.  We have fun and play hard.  Phones are left at the door.  TVs are off.  Music is playing.  Balls are thrown.  Swings are swung.  It's our happy place!
They are also my happy place:)

I digress.

Back to the bunny!
Hey Mr. Easter Bunny!
A bunny, from the bunny himself
Amelia thought the bunny was funny - from a distance
Just another reason why I love my family, nothing like a little bunny train ride!
Yes, we ALL went for a ride:)
The bunny came at Loli & Pop's!
Running with excitement to check out the loot!
The big boys literally put out hundreds of eggs for Jackson to hunt...hundreds!
Amelia charmed us with her sassy cuteness during the egg hunt:)
Jackson learned a southern tradition - pocking eggs
Sunday came way too fast and it was time to say good-bye to our Shorty's.  We crammed in as much fun and time together as possible, but 48-hours is just not long enough!
Kiki with her arms full, can't wait until next year!
Cousin LOVE

Easter 2011
The rest of our Easter was spent visiting with Mr.'s mom and her side of the family.  Jackson was spoiled by the Easter Bunny yet again, and had loads of fun playing with his cousin and Papaw!

Mr.'s birthday was yesterday, so we also enjoyed a delicious red-velvet cake that I baked from scratch.  If that doesn't scream love, then I don't know what does.  It's Mr.'s favorite kind of cake, and I have to say, it tasted quite delicious!


My Eggs

>> Monday, April 9, 2012

I hope y'all had a wonderful Easter! We were blessed with some great weather and even better company - that deserves a post of its own for sure.  I promise, it's coming. Today is Mr.'s 38th birthday, which deserves a post as well!

Back to me and my eggs...or lack there of...

We hoped that the Easter Bunny would forgo my basket this year and just fill my uterus full of eggs! From the looks of my ultrasound this morning, I am surely FULL of follicles, but am still missing the golden egg(s). 

My uterine lining measured an even 12.  But, my largest follicle was only 16mm, next up was 14mm, followed by a dozen or so between 7mm-11mm.  To say that I'm feeling full and bloated would be a huge understatement, at least now I know why! E2 level was 315 and LH was suppressed, meaning that there is no danger that I'll be ovulating any time soon.

After a chat with my nurses and doctor, I'm going to do Bravelle injections tonight and tomorrow night.  I believe it does the same thing as Follistim, but they are hoping that my body will respond better to it.  Meaning that my follicles will grow bigger so that I can trigger ovulation.  I go back for another ultrasound and lab work on Wednesday morning.  My nurse said we need to be greedy, and hold out for the best follicles.  I have to say, I agree!

Until then, grow follicles, grow!!!


Jackson vs. Backyard Lizards

>> Thursday, April 5, 2012

This is a warning to all "lizards" aka geckos within my toddler's radius. Mr. Action Jackson loves you to pieces and is determined to fill his pockets with you, every night from now until the end of time.

I promise you, geckos, I will do my best to ensure your tails remain intact and that you do not make it through my threshold...although last night, two of you came dangerously close and one of you may have lost part of your tail... I promise, my little boy meant you no harm!

Geckos & Lizards, you have been warned.  Jackson is surprisingly fast and can catch y'all so easily these days! It's time to step up your game!


Helicopter Egg Drop

>> Tuesday, April 3, 2012

One day last week my mom called and told me about an ad she saw for a new church that was hosting a Helicopter Easter Egg Drop on Saturday.  I knew anything that included a helicopter and an egg hunt was something Jackson would love.  So, I signed him up and made a call into L.M.N.O.P. to ship out Jackson's helicopter shirt ASAP.  Aunt Stephanie knew of his love for 'copters and made him a shirt just because, but now we really needed it!  I mean, Jackson couldn't attend his first helicopter egg drop without proper attire;)

Saturday morning was hotter than hot for the last weekend in March, but Jackson absolutely loved the whole experience.  We got to the field just in time to watch the helicopter fly over the field to pick up the Easter Bunny and eggs.  Then it flew back over us and dropped 6,000 eggs onto the field! I have to say, it was pretty cool!

The kids were separated by age on the field, and it took no time at all for the eggs to be snatched up.  Jackson wasn't too aggressive, but he did manage to get a basket full of eggs.  The eggs were empty, so after the hunt, we traded in the eggs for handfuls of candy.  Jackson was in heaven (and a sticky mess within seconds)!
Before we headed home to sit by the pool to cool off, Jackson got his picture with the Easter Bunny.  He was sure to thank the bunny for all the candy and wanted to know where the 'copter went! Every time he hears a helicopter now he thinks the bunny is bringing him more eggs:)


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