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If at first you don't succeed...

>> Friday, March 30, 2012

If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again!

Early this morning, I was woken up by an all too familiar feeling of wanting to die from menstrual cramps and soaking the bed.  Just 23 days ago this cycle started, and it has come to an end.  This may be the shortest cycle I have ever had, but I can't say that I'm surprised.

I started to have intense cramping last night, and finally broke down on the way home from an awesome night out.  I just love the fast that PMS can swing you from having the best time with your family of three, to having tears stream down your face as you pull in the driveway.  I knew that the morning would bring my period.  But, honestly it was just the cleansing I needed to start off a new cycle for us.

My boys made me laugh and my heart explode with love for them both.  Jackson reassured me that he really wants a baby brodder, but not a sister, unless Daddy will let us name her Matilda.  And Mr. promised that he would work two jobs, if he ever needed to, to pay for us to make a baby.  I'm a pretty frugal person, so it kills me to pay what we do in the hopes of making a baby.  I mean, what if we completely drain our savings and in the end still aren't pregnant? It terrifies me that something will happen where we'd need that money and I let my family down by not being able to get pregnant the "normal" way.

I realize these past few posts have been pretty raw.  But, it is therapeutic for me to get it off my chest and on the blog.  And maybe someday when our daughter, Matilda, is a teenager and hates me for something ridiculous, I can share this with her and let her know what went into bringing her into this world:)

So, here's to a more positive outlook and thinking on this cycle and moving forward!

I met with my doctor this morning, and she helped me understand a few things.  First, she said that I responded very well to the medicine and she would not recommend changing a thing.  Second, I didn't start my period early because I ovulated earlier than the trigger shot.  I started early (only 12 days after ovulation) because the medication can cause your body to recognize that your body isn't pregnant and start to shed and cleanse on its own.  Third, a follicle won't release on its own until it measures 24mm.  So, my 22mm was a good follicle.  It just might not of had an egg inside of it, and there is no way to know that.  My right ovary housed that follicle, but my left ovary ovulated the 14mm follicle that wasn't mature.

After my ultrasound, I got the all clear to try again with another medicated cycle.  I met with the nurse and she put together my schedule for me.  Due to Easter and weekends, she had to manipulate things a little bit.  But, she said that in her experience - the more hectic the schedule, the better outcome she's seen! 

My medicine should arrive tomorrow, I will start Femara on Monday (CD4) and Follistim shots on Wednesday (CD 6 - 10).  Next ultrasound is on April 9th (CD11) and we'll see how I responded. Trigger shot and date nights will depend on my ultrasound.

Here we go, again! Round 2.



Emily March 30, 2012 at 1:15 PM  

I've been reading your blog for a while now and I just wanted to say that you and your family are in my thoughts. I'm praying for you harder this time :)

KJJ Houston March 30, 2012 at 4:15 PM  

keep typing away! Im reading and I think its good to get it all out!!
Praying for a 2nd time and healthy baby from it! xo

Jamie March 30, 2012 at 5:26 PM  

Good luck sweet mama! You are my hero for going through all of this! Praying for a successful pregnancy!

Lea Liz March 30, 2012 at 8:37 PM  

Okay girl everything happens for a reason, God has a plan for you next sweet child!!! Praying for you as you continue round 2!!!!

Pam March 30, 2012 at 10:20 PM  

Praying for you all again. Keep faith and hope alive. Hugs your way. Haven't stopped thinking of you...

Megan April 1, 2012 at 4:04 PM  

Hey Girl, I'm always thinking and praying for you! I usually do my blog reading on my phone and can't comment (or maybe I'm just not smart enough?). Either way, reading and praying for Baby #2! :)

Jennifer April 2, 2012 at 8:46 AM  

Nothing good comes easy!! The fact that you are being so positive and hopeful will pay off, I know it! And Jackson will hopefully have a 'brodder'! I will keep my fingers crossed and keep saying some prayers for you :-)

Tara April 9, 2012 at 11:16 AM  

Hi! I've been reading your blog for a while now, and I totally enjoy reading about your beautiful family and your journey! This past week, I decided to start my own blog... a little crazy! I put a link to yours on mine... Hope you don't mind! All the best!

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