Just keep swimming...

Even before I was a mom to the most precious, almost 3-year-old in the world, I watched my fair share of Disney movies.  From growing up with princesses to talking "whale" and singing little tunes, it all makes me smile in my adult life.  Sometimes those little tunes even help remind me that you just have to keep going and be thankful for every blessing you have.

Today, I'm humming a song by a blue fish named Dora.  Her song is my mantra for the week.  When life gets you down, you gotta just keep swimming, just keep swimming... I have so much that I need to stay afloat for, I must keep swimming and moving forward!

But, I can't shake the negative feelings I have had about this cycle.  Since finding out I didn't respond as well to the fertility medication as my doctor hoped, I've been down.  It's like I set my self up for this, and I know it.  Each morning as I take my temperature and know it's too low to be pregnant, I continue on to pee on a stick and only see two lines in my head - not in my hand.

I know, it's early.  I know, it could be a false negative.  I know, there is still hope.

And I have hope, gosh do I have hope.

Unfortunately, I also have mother's intuition  And my gut knows that this cycle just wasn't it.  My gut knows that 12 days after ovulation I should have a faint second line, a bit of tenderness, tiredness, something.

Whatever the outcome, and believe me when I say that I'm still hoping, I will keep swimming.  I will keep moving forward on this journey.  I will stay afloat for the two precious guys in my life, that make my heart tick.

I just hope that this unsightly bloat that finally caught up to me, finds its way out of here before I have to start pumping myself full of drugs once again! Or that I can say yes, yes there is a baby in there and it's okay to stare and wonder why I all of a sudden look so very pregnant.

Friday, March 23.  6DPO

Friday, March 23.  6DPO

Tuesday, March 27. 10DPO

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!