>> Friday, November 19, 2010
I went to bed last night weeping from the confirmation that our rock star nanny would be leaving us at the end of the year. And I woke up this morning to an email message that said our potential home buyers had put an offer on another home.
Lovely, right?!? But, I am determined to not let this news bring me down. I have to keep things in perspective and have faith that everything happens for a reason.
Jackson is so incredibly lucky to have had Fee for the time that we did. He loves her, and she loves him. She plays with him, she really plays. She sings to him, she sings all of the nursery songs that I should know, but don't because I never took the time away from my job to look up the words. She makes me feel okay with being a working momma because I know that she's giving him more than I could. And this too, makes me weep.
I'm relieved that we didn't get an offer on our house. Everything happens for a reason, and I think God knew that looking for childcare on top of a new house is too much for me right now.
We have some big decisions to make. Some decisions that are going to force me to lose control and not be selfish. Half of me has kept Jackson at home with a nanny for completely selfish reasons. I'm sure that's somewhat obvious. Packing bags, drop-off lines, 5:30 pick-up deadlines in the extreme heat or pouring down rains, sleep mats, and sick bugs just don't sound appealing to our situation. Not to mention, I have strong feelings about Jackson being able to sleep in his own bed and play outside, when he wants!
But, the time as come. Jackson needs social interaction in an educational environment. He's ready, so I have to make myself ready as well. I mean, I cannot be that mom sobbing as I drive my kid to grade school in the rain. We all do it, and it's my turn.
I'm making lists, scheduling appointments and doing my homework. So my questions for you - would you do an in-home childcare or a daycare center? What are your experiences? What should I be looking for??? Am I nuts? Should I look for another nanny and think about daycare when Jackson is 2???