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perspective & plans

>> Friday, November 19, 2010

I went to bed last night weeping from the confirmation that our rock star nanny would be leaving us at the end of the year. And I woke up this morning to an email message that said our potential home buyers had put an offer on another home.

Lovely, right?!? But, I am determined to not let this news bring me down. I have to keep things in perspective and have faith that everything happens for a reason.

Jackson is so incredibly lucky to have had Fee for the time that we did. He loves her, and she loves him. She plays with him, she really plays. She sings to him, she sings all of the nursery songs that I should know, but don't because I never took the time away from my job to look up the words. She makes me feel okay with being a working momma because I know that she's giving him more than I could. And this too, makes me weep.

I'm relieved that we didn't get an offer on our house. Everything happens for a reason, and I think God knew that looking for childcare on top of a new house is too much for me right now.

We have some big decisions to make. Some decisions that are going to force me to lose control and not be selfish. Half of me has kept Jackson at home with a nanny for completely selfish reasons. I'm sure that's somewhat obvious. Packing bags, drop-off lines, 5:30 pick-up deadlines in the extreme heat or pouring down rains, sleep mats, and sick bugs just don't sound appealing to our situation. Not to mention, I have strong feelings about Jackson being able to sleep in his own bed and play outside, when he wants!

But, the time as come. Jackson needs social interaction in an educational environment. He's ready, so I have to make myself ready as well. I mean, I cannot be that mom sobbing as I drive my kid to grade school in the rain. We all do it, and it's my turn.

I'm making lists, scheduling appointments and doing my homework. So my questions for you - would you do an in-home childcare or a daycare center? What are your experiences? What should I be looking for??? Am I nuts? Should I look for another nanny and think about daycare when Jackson is 2???

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11 comments:

Colton's Mommy November 19, 2010 at 3:19 PM  

When my son was born, I didn't want him to day care either. I am lucky in that my parents were in a position to move where we live (an hour from where they lived before) and my mother watchs Colton every day. As he got older, I worried about social interactions for him since he is (and always will be) an only child. At about a year old she started taking him to MOPS every other Monday and now that he is older, she takes him to library time every Thrusday. He goes to the park and has a set of triplets down the street that he plays with almost every day. Suprisingly, he shares pretty well too. I would definitely try and find in home care for Jackson. Good Luck with everything on your plate right now.

Lisa November 19, 2010 at 4:09 PM  

I would defianlty do a regualr day care- not an in home. I think the in home day cares are great for baby babies, but if your looking for an educational enviroment, a traditional day care is better suited for that. I'm not saying that in home day cares cant be educational, I jsut think the enviroment is different. It more of a school enviroment, more structure, and rules.

GL on your search- this will be good for him!

KJJ Houston November 19, 2010 at 8:14 PM  

Oh Im so sorry you got this news from Fee! Why is she leaving?? Booo!! So I went one week without my Nanny who is just as wonderful as yours. In fact I fired her for one week, b/c sigh.. I have a bad temper..and well I have been SO good since Ive had Jackson, Ive taken into perspective that I cant go blowing up all the time. Well I work from home and my Nanny didnt show up thinking she had the day off. I called her asking her where she was and she said she thought she had the day off, but what made me mad was that she acted like umm well I dont know if I can get there, if I was late for my job I would have been RUSHING to get there if I had made the mistake. So I got mad in the heat of the moment and let her go. Well that week was HELL for me, I interviewed new Nannys and no one was like the one we had... she knows everything about us and Jacks routines and she has a really nice car, fully insured, was a nurse in her home country etc. So she was just as sick as I was about it and we made up. So ok Im rambling, but my point is I couldnt live without my nanny, and thats not the best siutation to be in. Sooooo even tho yours is prob leaving b/c you are moving sometimes its nice to have a forced break to try something else...
Ok Im totally rambling...
But what about this... our Jack goes to Mothers Day Out preschool at a church 3 X week from 9-2:30 and then we have our Nanny still that is part time. So Im not sure if you are interested in that siutation??
But I wouldnt put him in day care, I would look for a church program that has a school. The word daycare just makes me think of house keepers that are tired of cleaning a house and so they move to a daycare. I might get flack for saying that, but thats just my 2 cents. So I would focus on trying to find a preschool for toddlers. You will love it and so will Jack. I ADORE Jacks school - and they even offer a full time program.
So again with my rambling, you have to do whats best for your family, but if you can afford it, my thoughts are that he is going to HAVE to go to school for a long time, so if you dont have to rush it then I wouldnt. :)
Good Luck and if you are still reading...hope I made some sense..ha!

Amy November 19, 2010 at 9:07 PM  

Oh momma, i'm sorry! I understand, we've been through a few people and it sucks. You feel like that person knows your child so well and you have to start all over :(

I would look at both. Interview a few and trust your gut. I think that our next route will be some form or daycare for the socialization aspect. I love the 1-1 attention he gets but he loves other kids and i think he needs that! Good luck!

Megan November 19, 2010 at 9:33 PM  

Uh! I'm so sad for you. I understand your stress, I really do. Ramsey comes to school with me and is class with 2 other kids (and another baby part-time). She definitely gets a lot of adult attention, but also has social interaction. I stress out about the "what ifs" and "what about when she's 3" and "what if I teach somewhere else" and on and on. I think I would check out all options, but the nanny thing seemed soooo perfect! I think there are benefits to both! He'll be great and loved how ever it works out. :)

caycee November 19, 2010 at 9:36 PM  

First off Jackson is so cute I could eat him! Second this is totally my opinion, but I would go with the nanny and part time MMO if possible. Carson goes to MMO 3 days a week from 9:45-1:00, and we love it. That being said I like you want my baby in his crib to sleep. I also think that with Jackson being so young he only needs so much interaction with other children. You could even start off doing one or two days a week for MMO, and see how you like it! Ok now I am rambling!

PS Carson got tubes at 9 months and has not been to the doctor one time for being sick since! Best decision ever!

Karen At Home November 19, 2010 at 9:43 PM  

I am so sorry you are so stressed but it sounds like you are really trying to keep things positive!!!

I send Jillian to a daycare center and let me tell you, it has been tough. Not one day goes by that I don't question my decision on going back to work, and it's even only part time now. One of the only reasons that I am not quitting my job and yanking Jillian out of daycare is because she LOVES it!!!! She is such a social little girl and would be lost without two days of socialization. It's interaction that she can not get being home all day with me.

The only draw back is sometimes she is a little too social and doesn't nap well the two days she is at daycare.

If you have and questions about daycare, feel free to email me. Jeff and I researches so many daycares and we knew when we finally found "the one."

Karen

Meant to be a mom November 19, 2010 at 10:31 PM  

I'm so sorry to hear that things haven't been going that great. I hope the house situation works out in the time its meant to.

As far as in home or regular daycares. I personally prefer in home but it truly depends on who the in home teacher is and who the helpers are. I know a lot of daycare's that are really good too but the in home just seems cleaner to us and more loving.
Either way you can find good things in both. If you start looking for in home try going through your church. They might be able to connect you to a wonderful person who is trustworthy with good references.
If you look for a daycare maybe again look for a church daycare. I always here good things about them. They are usually harder to get into.
Also if your not wanting to do a full on child care you might try a mothers day out program. I have friends who's kids go two to three days a week for about 4 hours a day and they LOVE it. There are tons of good mothers day out programs you could look into, but you would still have to find a nanny or someone to take him and pick him up. That is my issue. I don't like people driving my son around town. I prefer to be the one who does that.

I hope and pray that things go good with you guys and you find something great. I know you will. Its so hard but just know that Jackson is old enough now to where he isn't just an infant and he will actually have fun and play and make friends wherever he goes. Just find a safe clean place in home or not and he I'm sure he will do great.

Good luck, I'll keep you guys in my prayers. :)

Amy November 22, 2010 at 8:07 AM  

Your nanny sounds wonderful! What a gift! Your little boy is darling! Thanks for stopping by my blog, I'm so glad you did because now I'm following you too. Great blog! Beautiful family!

Cearley November 22, 2010 at 12:22 PM  

Good Luck!! Claire attends The Principal's List on Johnston St. and Chris and I love it! CHloe is still with his mother, but will start there in January. Claire's vocabulary sky rocketed after she started, and her social skills too. She has learned to share,play well with others, etc which is important if you're going to have more babies in the future! The Principal's List is owned by a principal (Gina Cahee at Youngsville Elementary), so it has a curriculum which was very important to me when we had to take the plunge! Good Luck, I am sure whatever decision y'all make will be the best for your situation! Good luck with the ENT!

Tim and Heather November 24, 2010 at 9:00 AM  

Gosh Kristen, I haven't had spare seconds to glance at your blog in the past week or so- lots of stuff going on for you! To day-care or not to day-care... Maybe an ideal situation would be an in-home daycare? When we were looking, in-home is less expensive than an actual daycare center. And you have the luxury of a smaller amount of children that share germs, etc. Our babysitter is amazing- she has one other kid right now and doesn't want too many more, maybe one? LOVES my kids (I mean, who doesn't right?) and is flexible with her time. She lets us get home and get a few things done around the house before we come pick them up, so I can be totally devoted to them when they're home and awake. Which makes me not feel as guilty. AND, the little girl she babysits is a few months older, so she plays with them and I think it has sped up G's development! I wish we could have in home care, but this is definatley a good option, and they have other kids to play with. Maybe when they get a little older, I'll look into a few days a week at a center and a few days a week with the sitter? But for now, this situation rocks my socks. :) I can't wait to see you guys Saturday!

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