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Why I hate my neighbors

>> Thursday, August 26, 2010

Hate is a strong word, and I rarely use it. But, truth be told - I hate, loathe, even despise our neighbors. I have practically since day one. They have ruined our love for our first place, the first house we called home. The home Mr. and I bought the morning after we got engaged and spent the night in after we said I do. The home we started our family in and and where we brought our son home to.

There are numerous reasons behind this hate, and I will list them out for you. However, the most recent event has truly put me over the edge. Sometimes I just cannot believe the things some people do.

The countdown to the big event:
#8. Soon after we moved in we were woken up {very early} to the sounds of Cock a doddle doo. Confused, as we don't live in the country, we explored to find out where the noise was coming from.

Come to find out, our neighbors were raising roosters in their backyard. Their backyard that might as well be our bedroom. Oh and these weren't just any roosters, they were tie dyed roosters. Actually dyed feathers to coincide with the holiday decor. For example, they were green for St. Patrick's Day. Pink, purple, blue and yellow for Easter.

Mr. joined the board of the neighborhood association and the roosters were gone by the next holiday.

#7. In retaliation for the roosters, the neighbors got kittens. Kittens that seemed to be trained to use my newly landscaped flowered beds as their litter box. Cats that clawed the screens on my windows. Cats that got into cat fights in our backyard, in the middle of the night. Cats that made litters and litters kittens...

Mr. enforced the neighborhood {and parish} leash law, so the cats and kittens went away.

#6. To get us back for the leash law issue our neighbor, now referred to as Cat Lady, invited all of her kids and their friends from college to move in with her. I kid you not, at least 10 people lived in the small 3 bedroom house. Her front yard was a parking lot, full of big ol' trucks and hot rods. Did I mention that they ran a little car repair business out of their garage?!?

Mr. had to bring out the neighborhood restrictions once more and enforce no community living or businesses run out of a home statues. Problem solved for awhile...

#5. About the time I got pregnant with Jackson all of Cat Lady's kids are back. Mr. has lost some his energy to fight them. The kids take over the house, and Cat Lady moves in with her boyfriend.

The lovely little house turns into Animal House, even more so then before. They are still up "partying" in the backyard {that is basically in my bedroom} when I leave for work about 3 days a week. I get sound proof headphones. I try self talks. I count to ten. But, my blood boils and it becomes unhealthy for my unborn child.

I'm not one for confrontation. So, I call the cops. Every.single.night. and file complaints about the noise. I even call and say I smell pot. This may or may not have been a lie, but did I mention that I was huge, pregnant, and so tired.

Animal house quickly learned the noise restrictions and figures out just how loud they can be to drive me nuts, without getting a ticket from the cops. Great. So, I waddle my pregnant self over there and beg for peace and quiet. This is like dealing with a newborn to sleep, it doesn't happen.

Skip forward a couple of months. Jackson is born. He's fussy one night. We go pace the backyard while he screams. This breaks up the party, and all is quiet.

#4. Cat Lady eventually breaks up with her boyfriend and moves back home. Some of the kids move out, but the front yard remains a parking lot. I'm annoyed, as is the entire neighborhood. Home values are diminishing because of their house. We petition and pass a new rule for the association to fine any home with cars parked in the yard.

#3. Jackson turns one and gets a play yard for his birthday from all four sets of grandparents. Pop, Mr. and my brothers spend two full days putting the swing set together. It's big, and super cool. However, it's so big that it will be a little while before Jackson can really use it.

During the next homeowners association meeting, Cat Lady shows up - for the first time in 3 years. She is pissed and demands that we take down the swing set. In front of the entire neighborhood she says, "Their kid and all of his friends are so loud and disturb us when we're in the nude."

First, Jackson is one. He doesn't have friends over. And why are you in the nude in your backyard anyway?!?

After the neighborhood gets a few laughs, she puts her house up for sale. Hallelujah!!! Of course, it's way over prices and will never sell.

#2. Upset that we won't take down the swing set, she positioned a spotlight to shine directly into our bedroom window and leave it on 24/7. I wanted to shoot it with a pellete gun, but then they would know it was bothering us. After a couple of weeks she either tired of the game or the light bulb burned out. My guess is the later.

#1. Lastly, the reason that totally put me over the edge and solidified my hate for Cat Lady happened Monday night.

I was in the backyard playing with Jackson, which hasn't happened lately because of the heat. We were laughing and having a ball. I was chasing Jackson. He was mowing the lawn. And then we went to swing. I had Jackson on my lap and he was cracking up.

All of a sudden, we were wet. It took me a minute to figure out where the water even came from... Cat Lady. That woman soaked us with her sprinkler. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and yelled over the fence that we were outside. Excuse me, your soaking us over here. Can you please move your sprinkler away from our swings?

I could see her through the fence as she turned the water pressure up even harder. I covered Jackson's ears and called her a few choice words. She made sure we were good and wet and went back inside. She left the sprinklers on for the rest of the evening, making it impossible for Jackson to swing.

You know that Momma Bear we all have inside of us?!? Let's just say, it's game on. Nobody messes with my baby and his fun!



Amber August 26, 2010 at 3:11 PM  

OMG! I can't believe everything I just read! Cat Lady is a total psycho and I can't believe you haven't jumped over the fence and took matters into your own hands, haha. Keep us posted on your next move! :)

Jamie August 26, 2010 at 3:21 PM  

holy cow!!!!! that IS bad! get her back with smtg good!!! LOL

Colton's Mommy August 26, 2010 at 3:44 PM  

You have certainly put up with a lot more than I would have!! That was pretty funny about 1 yr olds being noisy and bothering her while she was in the nude--what were they doing in the backyard naked?
I tagged you on my blog about back to school--please check it out.

Ashley Sisk August 26, 2010 at 3:56 PM  

Wow - she sounds like a nightmare.

Ashley August 26, 2010 at 6:01 PM  

OMG! Those are all crazy crazy stories, first of all good for Mr for putting up a fight for you guys I love that, second of all if ANY one messed wth my sleep right now Luke better just hide his guns, being huge and prego puts b-mode into a whole new meaning, and getting Jackson wet, What!!!!
Maybe Luke and I will buy their house and move next door... Sound like a plan?

Karen August 26, 2010 at 7:46 PM  

Wow!!! What a lunatic! Poor sweet Jackson, I would be out in Momma bear mode too! You will have to keep us posted!

Lindsay Williams August 26, 2010 at 7:56 PM  

OMG! When you say your neighbor is mean, you mean it! Wow. That's horrible. She must have mental health problems.

Jennifer August 26, 2010 at 9:14 PM  

I can't believe you have not beaten the crap out of that lady! I know you tried to do the right thing by telling the board and calling the cops, etc., but there comes a point when you need to take matters into your own hands. Keep us posted!!

Andrea August 26, 2010 at 9:32 PM  

Oh my goodness, bless your heart!!! I would hate to have a neighbor like that!! My neighbors were arrested for selling meth! And I live in a golf course community, not the ghetto!!! At least they keep to themselves though, I can't believe how crazy Cat Lady is!

Amy August 26, 2010 at 9:38 PM  

omg, i thought my neighbor was crazy (well, he literally is, lol) but wow, i get that momma bear thing, you get that crazy lady!!!

the tichenor family August 26, 2010 at 9:58 PM  

Ummm, I am going to start praying now that she sells her house right away. How awful to have such a terrible neighbor.

KJJ Houston August 26, 2010 at 11:30 PM  

DOUBLE, TRIPLE , OMG!!!!!!!!! I can not believe this!!!!!!! I was reading thinking what can it get worse..and holy heck it did!! WHAT A TOTAL B*TCH. You are so strong, I am not kidding when I say that I might be in jail if I had a neighbor like her!!Ill pray that some miracle she sells the house...

Rachel H. August 27, 2010 at 7:25 AM  

Wow...I can't believe that! The last one would have really put me over the edge too. No one sprays my son with water. That is unbelievable! I can't wait to hear about your next steps!

Bonnie August 27, 2010 at 9:17 AM  

How awful. I now appreciate my neighbors more than ever. They are so "normal". Hang in there. Things probably can't get much worse (can they)?

Heather August 27, 2010 at 9:34 PM  

oh wow. I am nervous to buy ahouse when the day happens because you never know if you will be lucky to get good neighbors. Sounds like yours are NOT good neighbors. Hopefully they will move soon!

Lea Liz August 27, 2010 at 11:27 PM  

I cannot believe that last thing!!!!!! I would have been so unbielevably upset, I would have ran straight over there!! How terrible, I hate that for you!!!!!!

Lea Liz August 27, 2010 at 11:27 PM  

I cannot believe that last thing!!!!!! I would have been so unbielevably upset, I would have ran straight over there!! How terrible, I hate that for you!!!!!!

Jenni August 28, 2010 at 1:09 AM  

WOW, JUST WOW!! People can be so dang inconsiderate and rude!! I can not believe she intentionally left the sprinklers on so you and your son could not play on his swing set. I think I would have already lost my cool and went over there with more than a few choice words! Hopefully for their sake they sell the house and leave!

Meant to be a mom August 28, 2010 at 11:24 AM  

What a stupid bitch (excuse the language) but seriously! I am with you all the way. Cat lady has got to go. She seems like a heinous excuse for a neighbor. I mean its one thing to be rude to you and other adults in the neighborhood but then to pick on your son knowing that the 1 year old YES PEOPLE YOU HEARD ME CORRECTLY "1" YEAR OLD is just a baby that is playing is just plain wrong on all levels. It makes me mad just hearing about it.

They belong in a trashy neighborhood with other trashy people. Its terrible that you and poor Jackson have to deal with that. What is really scary is that this lady has kids of her own. These are the lovely people that are populating our planet and teaching their own children to grow up and be just like they are. Great.

Jennifer August 31, 2010 at 7:23 AM't.
I cannot believe that there are people who are this oblivious and ignorant.

You should go out and buy panchos or something for you and Jackson & play on the swingset and make a TON of happy noise. Let her know that the water isn't going to stop you and your son from having fun in YOUR yard.

I'm going to keep yall in my prayers b/c I know it is taking a lot of strength for you not to freak out on this woman. Ugh.

Shannon August 31, 2010 at 9:37 PM  

Oh my goodness and I thought I had interesting neighbors. Sorry for you guys! Y'all have the best swing set! How awesome is that? Just wish y'all could enjoy it in peace!

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