Why I hate my neighbors

Hate is a strong word, and I rarely use it. But, truth be told - I hate, loathe, even despise our neighbors. I have practically since day one. They have ruined our love for our first place, the first house we called home. The home Mr. and I bought the morning after we got engaged and spent the night in after we said I do. The home we started our family in and and where we brought our son home to.

There are numerous reasons behind this hate, and I will list them out for you. However, the most recent event has truly put me over the edge. Sometimes I just cannot believe the things some people do.

The countdown to the big event:
#8. Soon after we moved in we were woken up {very early} to the sounds of Cock a doddle doo. Confused, as we don't live in the country, we explored to find out where the noise was coming from.

Come to find out, our neighbors were raising roosters in their backyard. Their backyard that might as well be our bedroom. Oh and these weren't just any roosters, they were tie dyed roosters. Actually dyed feathers to coincide with the holiday decor. For example, they were green for St. Patrick's Day. Pink, purple, blue and yellow for Easter.

Mr. joined the board of the neighborhood association and the roosters were gone by the next holiday.

#7. In retaliation for the roosters, the neighbors got kittens. Kittens that seemed to be trained to use my newly landscaped flowered beds as their litter box. Cats that clawed the screens on my windows. Cats that got into cat fights in our backyard, in the middle of the night. Cats that made litters and litters kittens...

Mr. enforced the neighborhood {and parish} leash law, so the cats and kittens went away.

#6. To get us back for the leash law issue our neighbor, now referred to as Cat Lady, invited all of her kids and their friends from college to move in with her. I kid you not, at least 10 people lived in the small 3 bedroom house. Her front yard was a parking lot, full of big ol' trucks and hot rods. Did I mention that they ran a little car repair business out of their garage?!?

Mr. had to bring out the neighborhood restrictions once more and enforce no community living or businesses run out of a home statues. Problem solved for awhile...

#5. About the time I got pregnant with Jackson all of Cat Lady's kids are back. Mr. has lost some his energy to fight them. The kids take over the house, and Cat Lady moves in with her boyfriend.

The lovely little house turns into Animal House, even more so then before. They are still up "partying" in the backyard {that is basically in my bedroom} when I leave for work about 3 days a week. I get sound proof headphones. I try self talks. I count to ten. But, my blood boils and it becomes unhealthy for my unborn child.

I'm not one for confrontation. So, I call the cops. Every.single.night. and file complaints about the noise. I even call and say I smell pot. This may or may not have been a lie, but did I mention that I was huge, pregnant, and so tired.

Animal house quickly learned the noise restrictions and figures out just how loud they can be to drive me nuts, without getting a ticket from the cops. Great. So, I waddle my pregnant self over there and beg for peace and quiet. This is like dealing with a newborn to sleep, it doesn't happen.

Skip forward a couple of months. Jackson is born. He's fussy one night. We go pace the backyard while he screams. This breaks up the party, and all is quiet.

#4. Cat Lady eventually breaks up with her boyfriend and moves back home. Some of the kids move out, but the front yard remains a parking lot. I'm annoyed, as is the entire neighborhood. Home values are diminishing because of their house. We petition and pass a new rule for the association to fine any home with cars parked in the yard.

#3. Jackson turns one and gets a play yard for his birthday from all four sets of grandparents. Pop, Mr. and my brothers spend two full days putting the swing set together. It's big, and super cool. However, it's so big that it will be a little while before Jackson can really use it.

During the next homeowners association meeting, Cat Lady shows up - for the first time in 3 years. She is pissed and demands that we take down the swing set. In front of the entire neighborhood she says, "Their kid and all of his friends are so loud and disturb us when we're in the nude."

First, Jackson is one. He doesn't have friends over. And why are you in the nude in your backyard anyway?!?

After the neighborhood gets a few laughs, she puts her house up for sale. Hallelujah!!! Of course, it's way over prices and will never sell.

#2. Upset that we won't take down the swing set, she positioned a spotlight to shine directly into our bedroom window and leave it on 24/7. I wanted to shoot it with a pellete gun, but then they would know it was bothering us. After a couple of weeks she either tired of the game or the light bulb burned out. My guess is the later.

#1. Lastly, the reason that totally put me over the edge and solidified my hate for Cat Lady happened Monday night.

I was in the backyard playing with Jackson, which hasn't happened lately because of the heat. We were laughing and having a ball. I was chasing Jackson. He was mowing the lawn. And then we went to swing. I had Jackson on my lap and he was cracking up.

All of a sudden, we were wet. It took me a minute to figure out where the water even came from... Cat Lady. That woman soaked us with her sprinkler. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and yelled over the fence that we were outside. Excuse me, your soaking us over here. Can you please move your sprinkler away from our swings?

I could see her through the fence as she turned the water pressure up even harder. I covered Jackson's ears and called her a few choice words. She made sure we were good and wet and went back inside. She left the sprinklers on for the rest of the evening, making it impossible for Jackson to swing.

You know that Momma Bear we all have inside of us?!? Let's just say, it's game on. Nobody messes with my baby and his fun!